My night at the bar.

It was Friday the 13th yesterday, so Joanie, owner of the Skyline, decided she would have a special deal. You rolled three dice, and if the total was 13, you got to drink for FREE all night long. Unfortunately, I was not in luck, and I rolled a 9. I was asked to partner someone I've played with several times, and that was cool, but I hadn't had enough to drink yet, and so my first 3 games were pretty bad. Dan decided he'd rather play foosball, so I asked Harry to be my partner. By that time, I've had a few drinks and two shots, so I have a nice little buzz and am playing much better. We won a few games, but then Harry missed his shot on the 8-ball, and the next guy cleaned up the table, so we lost again. One of my old friends from Gateway was in there, and didn't have a partner, so he asked if I would play one game with him until he found a partner of his own, and I agreed. We won that game, and he still hadn't found a partner. I had told Harry that I was only going to play one game with Dustin, and then he and I would be partners when our turn was up. Harry says, "Why don't you just play with Dustin?" I shrugged and said ok whatever, thinking that Harry didn't want to play anymore. So Dustin and I ruled the table for a while, then we lost a game.
In the meantime, I called Gina to see how her graduation from WIT went, and to ask her if she was coming to the Skyline. She said she didn't know if she would make it up here because she wasn't driving, and why didn't I come to her Court St. bar? I told her I couldn't afford to pay twice as much for my drinks and my pool. I did tell her about the deal where you roll the dice and if you get 13, you drink free all night. She still didn't want to come, or her friends didn't, or whatever. So again, she stood me up.
After I get done talking to her, I go back to see what Harry is doing. He said something about pool, and I told him Bruce, another Skyline regular who happened to be standing there, would play with him. Harry proceeded to rip me a n

Wooo Hooo!

The semester is finally over! Now I can breathe a sigh of relief. I will be going to my favorite bar tonight to have a few drinks, play some pool, throw some darts, and just relax. Some friends from my classes should be joining me, and we should have a great time.

A whole lot of me whining.

Apparently someone really wants me to write something. I guess I can write a little.
It's official: I NEED to find another source of income. I got a letter in the mail today telling me that I am no longer eligible for unemployment, the TAA program, or the TRA program. I've been expecting this letter for a while now, so I'm not surprised or terribly upset. It merely means that I will have to come up with the money on my own now. I've finally comprehended that I can't ask Dave for help for anything. I could be dying today, and I wouldn't ask him to lend me a dime. I did ask my father for some money, which is a very, very rare thing for me to do, but he tells me he doesn't have any to spare for me. I'm not too surprised by that either. When I was 16, I got my first full-time job. From that point on, I've been pretty much on my own, and anything I want, I have to find a way to get it myself, because there is no help coming from him. For a long time I was rather bitter about that. My siblings ask for money a whole lot more often than I do, and they pretty much get anything they want. Over the years I've learned to just accept the fact that there is nobody in my family who both could and would give me money on the rare occasions when I need some. My sister tells me she has some saved, and I can have it if I need it, but she also has 2 young children, and I won't take that money from her. She may need it soon. I think a lot of the feelings I've been having in the last 2 or 3 weeks stem from the fact that I know there is noone in the world that I can ask for help (financially) and know I will get it. I have never been the type who could just let the bills pile up unpaid, so I will find a way to make some money, and if I have to get a job while I go to school, I guess I will do that. I don't want to, because I think my school work will suffer, but on the other hand, any job I get now will probably have benefits like insurance, 401k, and PTO, among other things. I need insurance. If I let my teeth go too much longer, I won't have any left.
I guess that is enough whining out of me today.

The Daffodil Principle

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are gone." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. "I will come next Tuesday," I promised, a little reluctantly on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.

"Forget the daffodils, Carolyn!! The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!"

My daughter smiled calmly and said, "We drive in this all the time, Mother."

"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I am heading for home!" I assured her.

"I was hoping you would take me over to the garage to pick up my car."

"How far will we have to drive?"

"Oh...just a few blocks, but I will drive. I'm used to this weather," Carolyn said.

After several minutes, I had to say, "Where are we going? This is not the way to the garage!"

"We are going to my garage the long way," Carolyn smiled, "by way of the daffodils."

"Carolyn," I said sternly, "please turn around."

"It's all right, Mother. I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I noticed a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand-lettered sign with an arrow that read, "Daffodil Garden."

We got out of the car, each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight! It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and it's surrounding slopes.

The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns: great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon, pink and saffron, and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.

"Who did this?" I asked Carolyn.

"Just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That is her home." Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modest, sitting in the midst of all that glory.

We walked up to the house. On the patio, we saw a poster, "Answers To The Questions I Know You Are Asking," was the headline.

The first answer was a simple one. It read, "50,000 bulbs."

The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman; two hands, two feet, and one brain."

The third answer was, "Began in 1958."

For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman I had never met who, forty years before, had begun - one bulb at a time - to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. By planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration.

The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration. That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time (often just one baby-step at a time), learning to love the doing, and learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.

'It makes me sad, in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal 35 or 40 years ago and worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years? Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said.

She was right. It is so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration, instead of a cause for regret, is to simply ask, "How can I put this to use today?"

I encourage you to use the Daffodil Principle in your own life. Stop waiting...

...until your car or home is paid off.
...until you get a new car or home.
...until your children leave the house.
...until you go back to school.
...until you finish school.
...until you clean the house.
...until you organize the garage.
...until you clean off your desk.
...until you lose 10 pounds.
...until you gain 10 pounds.
...until you get married.
...until you get a divorce.
...until you have children.
...until your children go to school.
...until you retire.
...until spring.
...until summer.
...until fall.
...until winter.
...until you die.

There is no better time than right now to be happy!!!
Happiness truly is a journey and not a destination. So...work like you do not need the money. Love like you have never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching.

Wishing you a beautiful "daffodil day!!!"